ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ» º º º ÛÛÛ º º Û ÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ º º Û ÛÛ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û º º Û Û ÛÛÛÛÛÛ Û Û Û Û ÛÛÛÛÛÛ THE DRUID º º Û ÛÛ Û ÛÛ Û Û Û Û Û º º ÛÛÛÛÛÛ Û ÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛ Û º º º ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ (have computer make trumpety sounds and all that stuff) DROOP THE DRUID'S GUIDE TOO ANIMALS (animals that aren't birdies) Copyright 1994 Cainteanna na Luise This material may be distributed free provided all copies contain acreditation to either "Droop the Druid" or "Cainteanna na Luise" -------------------------------------- In an earlier one of my brilliant expose-says I explained about birdies. There are, of course, lots of other types of animals so now I am going to tell you all about them. Lions and tygers and elephants and stuff like that do not live in Ireland so you don't get to hear about them. For that stuff you have to go get somebody else's expose-say about animals in Africa or Indiana. Bull - nasty, always angry about something. The cause of lots of trouble because people always want the same one and then THEY get nasty and angry and start killing each other all over to see who gets the bull. But see later about cows. Cows are very diffeent. Cat - has to be black, which is good luck. In Ireland white cats are BAD luck. SEE!!! I keep telling you (x3x3) that REAL druids never wear white and this is another example of the same thing! (Druids don't have to wear black but all this is because cats don't come in rainbow knotwork but white is always BAD BAD BAD!!!) Droop the Druid's Guide Too Animals p.2 Cow - now this one just shows you how dumb english is because if you call a lady-friend a "cow" in english she will probably BANG!!! you on the nose, but in Irish (well at least Old Irish before it got all messed up by people being forced to use english at school) to call a lady-human a lady-cow was a great (x3) compliment and there are all kinds of gooey old love songs about flowers and yearning and smiles-like-sunshine in which the beautiful lady being talked about is called a cow. It also was associgated with being rich because the ancient Irish didn't have any money so you had to figure how many cows you had to know what you could buy (but druids did not not not need any cows - WE GOT EVERYTHING FOR FREE!!! read that three times). Doggie - associgated with warriors who kill them and then steal their name. Dragon - not a druidy animal, or at least not an IRISH druidy animal. Whalers can have anything they want but why don't they have whales is what I want to know. Hair - a kind of rabbit usually standing for lusty stuff (no the ears are NOT fraudy symbols - Sigmouth Fraud wasn't born yet). Horse - pulls carts and chariots and stuff. Eats grass. Lady-Deer - probably somebody else in disquise (see my brilliant expose-say about birdies about this sort of thing). Lady-Pig - is very fat which means she means there is lots of food but also that she is greedy and SHE is going to eat it all up if you let her. Guy-Pig - (no he is not not not a "gentleman-pig"!) nasty, always angry about something. People don't fight about them like they do about bulls but they still cause lots of trouble. Mouse - tiny little animal that gobbles up your cheece. Otter - associgated with the Otherworld. Lives in rivers and eats fishes (but not salmons!). Salmon - very very very important fishie. Lives in wells and eats hazelnuts (thus is called "the fishie of wisdom" because what else could you call a fishie that knows that hazelnuts are best of all?). Droop the Druid's Guide Too Animals p.3 (!) Snake - I know but the catlicks are lying again. He did not not not do it. There weren't any BEFORE he got here. (Dumb catlicks, next they'll claim that S'aint-a-Meteor banished all the brontosauruses from Brampton and the trilly-bites from Trinidady and the terrorodackles from Trondheim when all those creatures were long gone three times before the catlicks ever got there. It was the Icing Age that stopped snakes from getting to Ireland (but the Dublin's got some and THE CATLICKS PUT THEM IN THE ZOO!!!) THe catlicks BROUGHT snakes to Ireland!!! It just makes you so mad - they say they did one thing and they did exactly (x3) the opposite! Tho it's not the snakes fault. Snakes are nice. They eat mice so you get the cheece. Stag - got have seven-points on each of its antlersb and then it's a magig druidy deer. If it's got less than seven it's just somebody's dinner. Weasel - Queen Maybe had a pet one (well it was a Martin, which is a dumb name for a weasel, but it was a KIND of weasel). Associgated with fairies (usually only the magic kind but some of the other kind got pet ferrets which are another kind of weasel, so sometimes with boith kinds). Knows where treasured troves are (see my briliant expose-say on visiting Ireland for stuff about treasured troves). If you kill one you got to do all this stuff to show you are really sorry or you are in BIG trouble! There's other animals in Ireland like butterflies and badgers and ring-tailed lemurs (there are too! They live at Fota near Cork and run free all over the place and they are times three worse than mice because they not only steal your cheece, they steal your ham-sandwitches and your pickles and your yummie raspberry cream pastry and there aren;t even any snakes to eart them!) but these other animals just live in Irealnd and aren't very druidy. *****************************************