ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ» º º º ÛÛÛ º º Û ÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ º º Û ÛÛ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û º º Û Û ÛÛÛÛÛÛ Û Û Û Û ÛÛÛÛÛÛ THE DRUID º º Û ÛÛ Û ÛÛ Û Û Û Û Û º º ÛÛÛÛÛÛ Û ÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛ Û º º º ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ (have computer make trumpety sounds and all that stuff) DROOP THE DRUID'S HOW TO WATCH THE BIRDIES* * with Droop's reply to a discerning reader about his expose-say copyright Cainteanna na Luise 1987, 1988 This material may be distributed free provided acreditation is given to either "Droop the Druid" or "Cainteanna na Luise". ------------------------------------------- HOW TO WATCH THE BIRDIES Watching birdies (and doing otheer things with them) was very important to druids, way before binoculars were invented. Some of the most watched birdier were: Raven : big, black, doesn't likee towns, may eat dead stuff and may be a battle goddess in disquise. BE NICE TO ALL RAVENS! (just in case...) Swan: big, white, likes water, maybe almost anybody else in disquise, EXCEPT a battle-anybody. But you still have to be very polite to swans! Crane: long legs, dances, very bad omen, especially if there are three together (do NOT run- it's undignified - walk quickly!). skin used to make magic treasure bags. Eating it (the birdie, but probably also the bag) kills you. DO NOT EAT CRANES!!! Droop's Birdie guide p.2 Wren: tiny, likes to hide in bushes, hated by christians who hunt it on their holey dazes (lots of tails of it betraying catlick saints and armies by going WREN-NOISE WREN-NOISE WREN-NOISE to show where they are hiding (if you are a druid youy can safely hide in the same brush). Very druidy (in fact name in Irish means "dyuidy-birdie"!). Also considered king of birds (of course these three things are related!). Following it may lead to magic places. Hoody Crow: black and grey, sort of a second-class raven who will hang around towns, also likely to be a battle-somebody (else or same) in disquise. Eagle: not druidy, but very roaming-men, american, rushing (starist), german, austry, orkney pick, astech, albanian, and south american, etc. Which just proves that druids do NOT join in fads of the common rabble! Hawk (incuting fawlcons): when it's nest is on a cliff it is one of Amber-gin's personae. Kingfisher: lots of pretty colours, eats fish, good omen. Owl: only very minor (AS AN OMEN SILLY! some owls are very nice birdies but when you see one, means you are seeing a nice birdie and not munch else. Goose: same as for owl, only dumber. Blackbird: reported as sitting on gods'-of-the-wildwoods shoulders while they feed deer, otherwise few references - said to sing poems. Magpie: important druidy birdie! sometimes associgated with the Otherworld, sometimes used to make druidy head-dreses (why do they CALL it that? why not head-shirts?) Be certain to ask permission first!!! Cuckoo: not at all associgated with nuts, considered a herald of good weather. Irish cuckooes do not not not live in clocks! Droop's Birdie Guide p.3 Lark: mixed reviews, can be good luck but also warns of danger, it is considered very naughty to steal its eggs. Seagull: also mixed reviews, viewed as greedy but its name also used for a graceful young maiden. (NO comment! I am just reporting - blame the catlick monks fgor tampering with the texts!) Peacock: former TV-PR worker, not druidy although a few feathers sometimes got traded as kinky foreign items. There are other kinds of birdies but these will do for now. Not all of the above are druidy birdies so the total number doesn't need to be anything. There were lots of ways to tell things from birdies. Like lots else, it is very complicated: was it flying left-to-right or right-to-left? with you or the other wat? morning or evening or at noon? making a noise? if yes, how many times? Non-druid laying-about-men tended to use short-hand and just say "good birdie" or "bad birdie", but druids would get into more personal relationships with birdies (yes that means S-E-X - remember some birdies were very sexy somebody-elses in disquise! - swans were paticularly good at this, but then a raven's somebody-else could be very beautiful too (NICE RAVEN!) if she wanted to. If you are not sure (x3) you can wait until AFTER the birdie turns into somebody else. The dove (nasty birdie, BAD birdie, bad birdie) was not not not a druidy birdie. It was the birdie-name of one of the ENEMIES of druids Colmchille whose name means "dove of the church" (it also puns, in Irish itself, with "cabbage of my flies" and you monoglots should be greatful I keep giving you these secret tidbits!). The catlicks of course lie about EVERYTHING and if you read Konrad Lorenz you will know that doves are nasty (bad bad bad!) birds They are very aggressive and attack each other without warning (THIS VIOLATES DRUIDY COMBAT CODE!!!). Doves will peak to death members of their own species (see, this is why christians are always fighting so much among THEIR selves - they have a bad bad bad birdie for a totem!!!). (peacenicks probably just smoke too much marywanna so they don't know WHAT kind of birdie they are dealing with, but catlicks KNOW about doves - it's all a plot: first you are told it's all a piece of love, and you join the catlicks and then - PEAK PEAK PEAK [insert screams] - you find out what doves are REALLY like!!! You should listen to Konrad Lorenz instead. He was not an IRISH druid but he was a very nice nice nice man who knew how to talk to al of the animals (he was so nice, see, he would even say hello to nasty birdies like doves!), so he qualifies as an unofficial druid. Droop's reply about birdie guide p.3-b (this is just an extra add-on so it doesn't count as a REAL page so there are still 3 pages! [editor's note: the following issue a long-time reader, Mr. Ariel Sprite, wrote a letter out-lining that while omens from birds was not wrong, that it often did not fit simplistic formulas, giving eveidence about his own wide experience about animal "omens", and agreeing withg the editor that individuals of a single species of, for example, trees differed as much as humans do. Droop's own reply follows:] Well now, it was MY article on birdies, so I myself will reply. All of your points (even if you forgot to number them in groups of three) are correct. However (of course, there is a "however" because MY own article was correct too!): 1) (please note that I myself am properly numbrering!) the article was very all in general. Of course, individuals do vary (I am very individual and I vary at least three times a day!). Some go topsy- turvy all other the place sideways different from what their species is suppoosed to do. But a hungry tiger will try to eat you but a hungry COW will not (I know! it can be a friendly tiger who will eat your friend instead and it just might be a very weirdo cow.. but IN GENERAL I am correct three times. 2) the article was for NON-druids and they can't do the REAL stuff that I can so out of the kindness of my heart so they are not dumb and confused all the time, I wrote the article so they will be confused only 49% (that's less than half!) of the time. This will be at least SOME improvement! I said (I DID DID DID - read what I wrote!!!) that real druids are more likely to get personal with birdies! 3) it is not always possible because the birdie may be in a big hurry on the way to do something very important somewhere a long way away that it may have time to stop and chat so like a friend who maybe is also in a big hurry who just yells hello or waves or blows you a kiss (well he could be waving to someone else or wiping his mouth but SEE you think he's waving AT YOU or blowing you a kiss, and you are not sure! you just ASSUME because 51% of the time, even more, you will be correct) - the birdie just goes chirp (or caw or whatever that kind of birdie says) and THAT'S ALL YOU GET! Then he dashes away and maybe he meant something else. Well, maybe your friend WAS wiping his mouth and flicking off the saliva (ECK!) and wasn't blowing you a kiss! (I know that YOU know this, you read this journal all the time, but you'll confuse all the other people if I don't explain it and since you wrote the letter I am saying "you" but WE know i mean all you-OTHER people. *****************************************************