ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ» º º º ÛÛÛ º º Û ÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ º º Û ÛÛ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û º º Û Û ÛÛÛÛÛÛ Û Û Û Û ÛÛÛÛÛÛ THE DRUID º º Û ÛÛ Û ÛÛ Û Û Û Û Û º º ÛÛÛÛÛÛ Û ÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛ Û º º º ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ (have computer make trumpety sounds and all that stuff) DROOP THE DRUID'S GUIDE TOO EVERYTHING HOW TO MAKE A CAPE (in 9 easy steps) copyright 1989 Cainteanna na Luise This material may be distributed free if accompanied by acreditation to either "Droop the druid" or "Cainteanna na Luise". This is a slightly different version of the article originally appearing in Cainteanna na Luise No.21. ------------------------------------------ People keep asking questions like "how does one make one's own magic druidy cape?" So, OK: [ insert three drum rolls ] How To Make The Ultimately Magic Most Druidy Of All Cape: 1) first you must raise the sheep for nine generations (of the sheep, not yours!). It takes this long for any curse to wear off and you have got to be SURE! Also be sure they all eat only the woad growing on sacred Irish hills or other such druidy places (no just plain grass, although if you want they can have marywanna for dessert as long as IT is also growing on a sacred hill or wherever like that. The cape must be whoole. (well, so there not THAT easy of steps, but on this one the sheep are doing all the real work, so don't bitch at me!) Droop the Druid's Guide to How to Make a Cape p.2 2) you gather all the plants for dies only on Sow Win. Be certain to use the proper ritual and thank each plant three times. In making the dies only use water from sacred Irish wells (be certain to give each well a salmon coin first - that's the 10p Irish coin; 10 is not a druidy number but the salmon on it makes it OK anyway). Let the dies stew for a year and a day (that's a reglar year plus Sow Win). If you want to, you can add a little mead to the water - it's YOUR cape. 3) you should begin on Belly Time (see my brilliant expose-say on feastyfulls in file DRP-FEST.CNL). To jump ahead you should WEAR it first on Belly Time because this is the dayte both when the Tooting DaNaNa and humans first arrived in Ireland so it is the best time to start anything. 4) after you have woven the cape and died it you must embroidate it with lots of druidy not-work (it should be a pleasure to do this) and tricycles and kilty style animols and birdies and stuff like that (don't forget tree leafs and loys of hazelnuts). 5) numbers of colours are very important. Only Top Druids (like me) get seven or more. But important: remember in Irish the word "glas" can mean both blue or grey, and "gorm" can be blue, black, or green, and what engless people call "orange" isn't a colour by itself but a shade of yellow. DO IT IN IRISH!!! (this is a special inside hint because you get more colours and if some goofygoof points to your cape and says hoho you got seven colours and you aren't as good as Droop, only the second half of that is right, and just tell him or her that they're a mono-glot and ought to remember it's an IRISH cape! 6) when you are weaving and embroidering, as you do each stich or turn or crossover or whatever, you should recite a druidy line of poetry or magic chant or some stuff like that. 7) the design should not not not be symmetrical. Same-sides (or mere images) are very very very bad. True druidy art never never never uses them (this is almost the same as the Navy HoHos making their blankets with a diseruptation in the design). 8) it should NOIT NOT NOT have a hood. In an important profit-see the druids said they would reconnize Potty because HIS cape had a hollow head on it (having a holey head is both hollow and sacred only in engless, it does not not not work in Irish!). Droop the Druid's Guide to How to Make a Cape p.3! 9) telling the truth is a very very very important point of druidy eticut so when people ask you how you could make such a wonderfully magic (which it will be if you follow the instructions) cape, be sure to tell them trhat it was ME-MYSELF who told you how to do it. PS: if you are lazy you can BUY a cape, even an Irish one, but try if you do to use at least three of the above rules to change it. Also you will want a broach to hold it shut. There is a very very very nice one in the National Museum of Ireland named after Tara, but if they are ever going to give it away, I ALREADY GOT MY NAME IN AND IT'S MINE!!! You can find your own somewhere else. ******************************************