ллл л лл лллллл лллллл ллллл лллллл л лл л л л л л л л л л л лллллл л л л л лллллл л лл л лл л л л л л лллллл л лл лллллл ллллл л THE DRUID (back by ever popular request by all the really best people!) (make computer do trumpety noises and that stuff) -------------------------- DROOP THE DRUID'S GUIDE TO FEASTYFULLS Copyright 1989 Cainteanna na Luise 1989 (note from Droop: this can be copy'n'write if you give ME MYSELF!!! credit. I don't care if you include Cainteanna na Luise or not, tho it would be a nice (x3) thing to do. This best of all guide has already been snatched up like golden hazelnuts by other folks to re-re-reprint in their own journals so its not strictly "CnL" anymore, but all of these other folk have given ME MYSELF credit, so you better too!) In fact, since CnL has ceased coming out, try to copy'n'write this as many times as possible (you have to do it at least 3 times or you FAIL thge druid test!), just being sure that each of the three (at least, nine is also a druidy number and 81 may be enough to use....) copies give credit to ME MYSELF! (yes, I did say that 3 times, which means you gotta do it or else.) Pre-Script PS: No, it's not not not an exact reprint from 1989, I changed at least 3 things! ----------------------------------- Droop's guide to feastyfulls page 2 Now tho it is not a druidy number, one can't all ways have everything and it was the laying-about-men not the druids who did most of this stuff and you know they invent holydazes just to have daytes not to do things, so theirs are, I am sorry!, four feastyfulls! Numb one: Emy's Bog: Not as imporatnt as the others is Emy's Bog, which was when the bogs first started to melt, tho it was February so maybe they froze again although Ireland has a mild climate so maybe they didn't and it seems screwed up but maybe that's because this is the undruidy fourth feastyfull. We know very little about what people did on Emy's Bog. Maybe they just lay around (holydazes are for doing nothing) and watched the bogs melt? Num two: Belly-Time: Number two is Belly-Time. so named because it was a big feast and lots of food. It is not (not not) true: there was not not not a one only lighted fire; the dumb christians mixed it up and Paddy didn't light his first because there wasn't any first of anybody's! There were two (also not a druidy number, but just wait, this is not for druids but for laying-about-men) fires and the cows and other stuff were run between the fires. Now a Frenchman named Levie (as in New Year's levie tho Belly Time was not New Year's, Samhain was, but he was French, not Irish, so probably got it wrong) Strauss said that civilized peoples cook stuff and barbers eat it raw and this is what was going on: the cows and other stuffings were being "cooked" so they'd be civilized and not turn into wild beasts when they were let loose in the fields and their genes began to do things. (What? Of course not (not not)!!! Pay attention to the quotation-marks: they didn't really cook the stuffings; it was symbiotic!). Sometimes people also went into the fields and took off their jeans and let their genes do things. But only if they jumped over or walked bwtween fires to "get cooked" (quotation-marks everybody!) first. If you want to commemorate Belly Time: this is when both the Tootin Day DaNaNa and Amber-Gin arrived in Ireland; if you are lucky the IN won't have struck the airplane season or the charters will have also arrived, so you can arrive in Ireland on Belly-Time too. Numb Three:Luck's Nanny: Then comes Luck's Nanny. Is so, so, so! Because Luck was a Tootin Day DaNaNa and this feastyfull he made to celebrate the death of his, well it was his foster-mother, not his nanny, Tail-Too, but don't gripe about terms, I am trying to do this in english. Anyway, there was lots of games and people got together on hill-tops and did stuff in caves (but no cows). Droop's guide to feastyfulls page 3 (of course there's 3, how many did THINK there would be? silly....) Numb Four: Sow Win: Last, and first too, is Sow Win, which has nothing to do with victorious lady pigs, but there you go again, it was New Year's, and The Most Druidy Night Of The Year Of All (insert drums and trumpets and all that). The druidy mist would descend from the sacred holy hills and there wouild be strange sounds and invisions and the Gates to The Otherworld would open (without having to call on sesame or any other type of seed - hazelnuts are nuts, not seeds - to help). Non-druidy laying-about-men kept inside because all this scared them but real druids went tippy-toeing through the mists calling You Hoo, Magic Beings, Come Out Come Out Come Out (they had, of course to say this three times) Whereever You Are! and stuff like that. THIS was when the one fire comes in. All the fires of Ireland were put out and Darkness Ruled (insert scary drum sounds). Then at Tlacky-Tlack west of Tara the druids (who, remember, were the only ones going outside so they had to be the ones to do this) kindled a little ember and then a fire and then quick as they could someone would run with it to Tara (where everyone was sitting in the dark probably their un-cooked stuff scared out of them) and arrive at the west (which is the come-pass you need if you are new even tho in this case it is re-new) gate to give the king the the torch to light the fire there. Yes, I know this sounds just like (never mind the Greeks and their You-Limp-Eck, it sounds more like:) what the Aztecs did with their New Fire Ceromony but the druids did not (not not) use hearts or pyramids. Anyway, then all the fires in all of Ireland were re-lighted from the re-lighted fire at Tara. Personally I think this - tho I have never seen it in quotation marks - is symbiotic too, I mean somebody all the way down in Carry was not going to wait that long to cook (no quotation marks) dinner! PS if you do go out tippy-toeing through the mists on Sow Win, don't forget your hazelnuts! (save me the trouble and you yourself re-read that three times.) ****************************************